Monday, June 16, 2003
Your smell intoxicates me,
The yellow of your skin, the freckles of your spice
The luxury of gripping you in my hands.
In moments of sadness – you are there
In moments of elation– you are there
An object of desire and dependence.
Years have passed; your body has changed,
Your flavor and variety
Has only grown with age.
My children will know you as
The father they never knew
A life made complete by your inexistence.
Lovers will come and go
Flitting in and out of my life through fickle hopes
Driving me back to your consistent smile.
It is only now that I can see
The ramifications of loving you – too much.
The reality of letting you run my life.
Pizza, today I say goodbye to you.
This Weekend
Had an incredible time. So much fun in fact that it was 8pm Sunday night before I realized that the fun was finally over. Went out drinking on both Friday and Saturday nights and was up until 5am each evening. Slept very minimally, as I had to get up and go to brunch on both Saturday and Sunday mornings. Man, it was serious fun. Today my eyes are a bit swollen shut from lack of rest. I plan to catch up on that this week.
Ahmad
Is away on business until Friday. Since I am going home to Albany this weekend, I will not see him until at least Tuesday of next week. I miss him a tad bit, but definitely needed to get some perspective while he is away on his trip. Got an email from him this morning and he sounded pretty good. I got hard when I read some of what he wrote.
Paul
Has been pretty exceptional over the last couple of days. It doesn’t change how I feel about anything right now, but it was nice to know that he could treat my friends with respect. He hasn’t always been so congenial in the past, but Saturday night he was a gem. And last night, he was more than a gem. He was funny, patient, helpful, kind, and more than a boyfriend. He was my man.
Kelly’s, Ex-girlfriend, Angie
Had an AMAZING time with her this weekend. Her 6-month trip to Mexico fucked her up a bit. She is slowly acclimating to her old life again and it was good to see that she hasn’t lost some of the wonderful things that make up who she is. She is growing and changing as an adult, but I do feel very lucky and proud to be a part of it still.
Cheeseburgers
Had one for brunch on Saturday, one for dinner on Saturday night, and one for brunch on Sunday.
My Shoes
Are on their last legs. There is no suspension left in the heel and I am almost embarrassed to be seen tripping all over them. I found a pair at “Payless” for $20, but decided to wait and buy them this week. Now my right ankle is starting to hurt. If it rains, my foot gets soaked and then makes “SQUIT, SQUIT, SQUIT” sounds every time I take step.
Phlegm
Gallons of it resting comfortably inside my throat.
$10
The amount of money I had to pay to get into Jeckyll and Hyde (one of the WORST bars in Manhattan) because the hostess refused to believe that I am a homosexual.
Amaryllis
Bought one for Paul yesterday as a “Thank you” for his generosity when taking out my friends on Saturday night.
463
The amount of drinks I had this weekend.
3,249
The amount of cigarettes I smoked.
4
The number of joints I took part in.
All of them
The number of joints that I took part in that were rolled from my pot.
Not Another Teen Movie
Saw it again last night and decided that I MUST own it. So funny. SEW SEW SEW funny.
Rachel
Told her roommate, (and one of my best friends) Mariah, that she was “fat” and “ugly” and that she “Wouldn’t be caught dead with Mariah if she didn’t change the outfit she had on” for the Spooky Ooky Pub Crawl.
Rachel was SO mean and cruel to Mariah that despite a very determined effort on her part, Mariah ended up bursting into tears in front of the entire group. Then I started to cry, because I can’t STAND seeing Mariah cry. Then Rachel got angry that we were both crying and took off her costume and refused to go out with us. After an hour of coaxing and 10 minutes of me begging and pleading with her, Rachel agreed to go out. Of course, an hour into the evening, Rachel threw a HUGE temper tantrum and refused to drink or dance or talk to any of us. She sat in the corner for the rest of the night.
Must I say it again? I fucking hate that bitch.
So, my birthday is coming!!
WOOO HOOOOO!
Will definitely get into that topic tomorrow. So much planning to do and so much fun to be had. I have already planned out the entire thing in my head, minute by minute.
Tune in tomorrow for the great and exciting details.
Have a fast fucking Monday!
The yellow of your skin, the freckles of your spice
The luxury of gripping you in my hands.
In moments of sadness – you are there
In moments of elation– you are there
An object of desire and dependence.
Years have passed; your body has changed,
Your flavor and variety
Has only grown with age.
My children will know you as
The father they never knew
A life made complete by your inexistence.
Lovers will come and go
Flitting in and out of my life through fickle hopes
Driving me back to your consistent smile.
It is only now that I can see
The ramifications of loving you – too much.
The reality of letting you run my life.
Pizza, today I say goodbye to you.
This Weekend
Had an incredible time. So much fun in fact that it was 8pm Sunday night before I realized that the fun was finally over. Went out drinking on both Friday and Saturday nights and was up until 5am each evening. Slept very minimally, as I had to get up and go to brunch on both Saturday and Sunday mornings. Man, it was serious fun. Today my eyes are a bit swollen shut from lack of rest. I plan to catch up on that this week.
Ahmad
Is away on business until Friday. Since I am going home to Albany this weekend, I will not see him until at least Tuesday of next week. I miss him a tad bit, but definitely needed to get some perspective while he is away on his trip. Got an email from him this morning and he sounded pretty good. I got hard when I read some of what he wrote.
Paul
Has been pretty exceptional over the last couple of days. It doesn’t change how I feel about anything right now, but it was nice to know that he could treat my friends with respect. He hasn’t always been so congenial in the past, but Saturday night he was a gem. And last night, he was more than a gem. He was funny, patient, helpful, kind, and more than a boyfriend. He was my man.
Kelly’s, Ex-girlfriend, Angie
Had an AMAZING time with her this weekend. Her 6-month trip to Mexico fucked her up a bit. She is slowly acclimating to her old life again and it was good to see that she hasn’t lost some of the wonderful things that make up who she is. She is growing and changing as an adult, but I do feel very lucky and proud to be a part of it still.
Cheeseburgers
Had one for brunch on Saturday, one for dinner on Saturday night, and one for brunch on Sunday.
My Shoes
Are on their last legs. There is no suspension left in the heel and I am almost embarrassed to be seen tripping all over them. I found a pair at “Payless” for $20, but decided to wait and buy them this week. Now my right ankle is starting to hurt. If it rains, my foot gets soaked and then makes “SQUIT, SQUIT, SQUIT” sounds every time I take step.
Phlegm
Gallons of it resting comfortably inside my throat.
$10
The amount of money I had to pay to get into Jeckyll and Hyde (one of the WORST bars in Manhattan) because the hostess refused to believe that I am a homosexual.
Amaryllis
Bought one for Paul yesterday as a “Thank you” for his generosity when taking out my friends on Saturday night.
463
The amount of drinks I had this weekend.
3,249
The amount of cigarettes I smoked.
4
The number of joints I took part in.
All of them
The number of joints that I took part in that were rolled from my pot.
Not Another Teen Movie
Saw it again last night and decided that I MUST own it. So funny. SEW SEW SEW funny.
Rachel
Told her roommate, (and one of my best friends) Mariah, that she was “fat” and “ugly” and that she “Wouldn’t be caught dead with Mariah if she didn’t change the outfit she had on” for the Spooky Ooky Pub Crawl.
Rachel was SO mean and cruel to Mariah that despite a very determined effort on her part, Mariah ended up bursting into tears in front of the entire group. Then I started to cry, because I can’t STAND seeing Mariah cry. Then Rachel got angry that we were both crying and took off her costume and refused to go out with us. After an hour of coaxing and 10 minutes of me begging and pleading with her, Rachel agreed to go out. Of course, an hour into the evening, Rachel threw a HUGE temper tantrum and refused to drink or dance or talk to any of us. She sat in the corner for the rest of the night.
Must I say it again? I fucking hate that bitch.
So, my birthday is coming!!
WOOO HOOOOO!
Will definitely get into that topic tomorrow. So much planning to do and so much fun to be had. I have already planned out the entire thing in my head, minute by minute.
Tune in tomorrow for the great and exciting details.
Have a fast fucking Monday!
